Food For Thought

[mzlady26]

A Little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold , the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and shit on it. As the freezing bird lay there in the pile of shit, it began to realize how warm it was. The shit was actually thawing him out! He lay there warm and happy and soon he began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard him singing and came to investigate. Following the sound the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow shit and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the Story:

1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3) And when youre in deep shit, keep your mouth shut

--------- New Post Merged on 30/8/2009 at 11:42:06 --------

Maybe I should say this. I would like to have this thread as something where we can come here and give some enlightment. There are times where we all get frustrated and what to scream, when that happens we either call a friend (to get advice/hear something positive), go to the bar (to find numbness in a bottle), go for a drive (to clear your mind or whatever.

I wanted to make this thread more so like support and positive thoughts for advice to those that might need it just because. So if you have any quotes that you would like to share please feel free to post them here. You never know who you'll help or give some insight too.

Happy Posting

[parna1973]

Appreciate the share...and your right sometimes we need a good laugh...remember evertime u laugh u add 5 minutes to your life...just an old saying

[mzlady26]

Originally Posted by parna1973

Appreciate the share...and your right sometimes we need a good laugh...remember evertime u laugh u add 5 minutes to your life...just an old saying

I like old sayings, thanks for that!!!

[forty01]

Management Course









Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'


After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.


The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'


'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'



Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.



Lesson 2:


A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to
reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he=2 0let his hand slide
up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily
And went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.



Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas ,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing
on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas=2
0and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after

Lunch.'


Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4


An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do
nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.



Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey,
'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some
more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of
the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..



THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE (Your bird portion was actually Lesson Six in my management series ;D lol)

[mzlady26]

I love that forty01